Mr Magorium's Adventure Emporium

049 - Name - Dates 1477DR

Written by Finn

Jacaman. Maybe it was nice once, before some Thay tossers stuck a mile-wide corpse pit there. One by one we descend on our giant eagles – courtesy of the wondrous Kaedri – and Zavra’s top priority is to start poking the dead bodies to see if they’re dead, and Poppy finds something shiny on one of ‘em. Me, I could see these things were dead long before I landed. Hardly matters when necromancy is involved, though – some of the dead Tieflings get up and cling to them before bursting into flames. Or, well, frost, in Poppy’s case. Bursting into frost? I dunno. Anyways, Zavra teleports right out of the pit looking almost unscathed – sorcerers are unnerving like that – and the Tiefling corpses put the chop on Poppy. She loses her mind. I mean, she actually starts going nuts. They gave her Lunatic’s Fever. Then they disappeared. Artorius tries to help out, but it turns out recovering from Lunatic’s Fever is something you gotta try and do yourself. Yeesh. She starts clambering on him, clearly not faring too well. Kaedri calls out the positions of the invisible Tieflings and hits them with some colourful beams, and that’s all I needed to sink an arrow in one of them after I landed at the pit’s edge. Zavra’s chaos magic has her switch places with one of the Tieflings and it ends up in control of her eagle, soaring through the air. Great work. Just as Poppy was starting to get a hold of herself, Sky catches Lunatic’s Fever. Yikes. A cloud of darkness, a few blasts of magic, a couple arrows and a bit of chopping later, the Tieflings are dead again.
Poppy and Sky were still a mess when we heard the footsteps – one massive Eladrin lich appeared at the edge of the pit while Artorius tried to comfort Sky with limited success. It had scarcely begun blasting Sky when Artorius froze it in place and gave our two feverish lunatics a chance to recover. I sized this thing up and figured it’d be easy enough to disconnect the limbs and watch it fall to pieces, so I made sure everyone else knew. Artorius blessed most of us with divine power and boy, I gotta say, that blessing gives each arrow a lot of extra kick. With a bit of help (and luck, maybe), Poppy and Sky got their minds in order and we finally got around to bringing down this towering lich. Poppy even managed to have it blast itself with its own accursed magic. Things were going more or less fine until it started draining Artorius’ soul from his body in a long trail. I couldn’t break the flow of… Soul… Or whatever. Sky, though, having scaled this abomination, managed to cut its arm off, and the rod it was holding fell to the ground. That stopped it from carrying on with the soul-sucking. Poppy shredded its tendon after the rest of us landed a good number of blows and that sent it toppling to its death – with Sky and Poppy still clinging to it. Ouch.
Apparently, for Poppy, killing a Lich, like many things, calls for celebrating by throwing a disembodied tongue at the nearest Halfling. Which is me. It’s always me. We headed for the food stores and found some terrified, probably-enslaved humans. Before long, they started freaking out and collapsing – Lunatic’s Fever. All dead. Oh well, back to the ship, and off to Branestria. It’s never safe sailing on the Sword Coast, though – tentacles came up through the hull. We sprang into action and dispatched the tentacles in no time, then Kaedri – absolute life-saver – started a ritual to mend the holes in our ship while Zavra made a shoddy attempt at temporarily plugging them up. No trouble the rest of the way, and fine weather to boot. After the corpse pit, any town would have felt like paradise, but Branestria? I felt my worries unravel like they never had, even though we’d come to check up on the place after hearing it might be in trouble. All was well though, as far as anyone could tell. Everyone went about their business in town while I relaxed at the inn, puffing out smoke rings and blowing off steam. That unnaturally powerful bangle just keeps getting stronger, though, like it wants to cater to all of us in some way. Eerie.

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