Mr Magorium's Adventure Emporium

045 - Diary of a Nameless Bard - Volume 3 - Dates 1477DR

Written by Brett

The world is full of colour. I often wonder if the others can see it as I do. Colours which shout to the world, proclaiming their passion and fury. Colours which flutter, gently whispering sweet nothings. Then there are the blacks. The endless blacks. Those blacks which are so deep that even the brightest of lights cannot escape. I imagine that was the sort of colour Sky was attempting to recreate. Unfortunately, a soot-rubbed face does not a Drow make. Nothing begins a day better than a tummy full of golden laughter. And what a day today would be.
Our first clash is as quick as it is ferocious. We see them first, as does not often happen. They have him covered like an animal. Like he was some sort of magic trick. Zavra does not hesitate; she never does. They’re caught off guard. The trick is revealed.
I think some part of me always thought that we might be reunited in battle. I never thought we might be on different sides. Zen casts a magic so powerful we are all affected. I feel my feet lift from the ground, as I’m squeezed on all sides by a force like I’ve never felt before. The bitter taste of blood fills my mouth as I slam into the ground. I see the three Liches approach, and then nothing as the darkness takes me.
Moments later, I awake, though the situation has not improved. We cannot get through to Zen, the others seem as injured as I am. I remember my training, summoning the magics of my people to cover the space between me and Zen without being seen. I don’t remember what I said to calm him down. But whatever it was it seemed to work. I think the sending-stone chat with Jemima had more to do with it than I did. The Liches were squeezed out of existence and the real battle began.
Zen had had a tough number of months. He told us that they had killed his mother, and enslaved him with dark magic. He had been trying to fight it, but even I could tell that this magic was far beyond the level of any mortal. Of the scarred little child we saved all that time ago in Neverwinter, only the fear remained. He needed time to recover somewhere away from all this. We summon our Feywild portal and we leave him there to rest. Kaedri leaves him with some supplies. I give him my cloak. He probably needs it more than I do now.
On a lighter note, we proceed to the no-longer-so-great house Banre. Due to the Drow’s strange eating habits, we find that many of the younger Drow survived the deadly poison. Thank god for that, I reckon seeing a couple of rooms full of dead children might have gotten Zavra a little too… uhhh… ‘worked up’. Zavra is able to convince many of the remaining Drow to join the newly-reformed house DeVir. Say what you will about the Drow, they are surprisingly cooperative when their entire world is collapsing around them (oops). Anyway, we enslave the first two floors before we have to go back to check on Zen.
Note to future self: When dealing with a Lich curse, you should always appeal to some sort of deity. Preferably Amantor. Lolth is just a bitch. Would not recommend talking to that one. No chill whatsoever. Anyway, with a little cheeky praying, Zen is feeling a lot better. We put the small responsibility of organising an army of children and getting them to sit still somewhere on one of the older Drow in the group. Should work out fine.
Back to circus Banre. We go through the third floor and there’s a couple of older ones amongst the corpses. They are much less cooperative (freaking adults), and seem intent on attacking each other and us. One of them even had to kill his ol’ pa. It’s like they’re never even taught manners. God! Or Lolth or whatever. Arty got involved and it was much smoother sailing from there. That dude is seriously scary
So in the end we manage to get a team of 50 of them together and we’re feeling pretty good. Tough mission they said. Destroy the most powerful Drow house they said. Impossible they said. Yeah well we showed them! Take that whoever you are! We send 20 of the blighters back (Those kids aren’t gonna change their own diapers). We rush into the top room, and immediately start… uhh… “saving” the invaluable possessions.
We find the matron mother in her room. Nah it wasn’t like that, she had like, 10 guys with her. Crap… didn’t mean it that way. Anyway Zavra and Matron mum are bantering at each other. Zavra manages to get a couple of cheap shots in, and then Perrin comes out of nowhere and hits one from the three-point line! Wait is basketball a thing in this universe? Anyway mum is knocked down, and we absolutely decimate the rest of her harem. Then mum comes and joins us! Too easy right? Zavra finally gets her bonk rod to work and immediately shuts up the douchebag in the corner. Say what you will about Zavra, that ladies got style!
We proceed to borrow the rest of the stuff in house Banre, getting some sweet loot bags in the process. But the best loot is always the gossip, right?
So this elf dude, freaking dog, was getting with an elf AND THE MATRON MOTHER. Did I mention he was married to the elf? Anyway, he wants to stay with the ex-mum of Banre, but Zavra is having none of it. She goes all 12 tasks of Hercules on him and tells him to go grab a phylactathingy. And he says yes! Can you believe it? That guy has some serious balls. Also he’s gonna die.

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danweb

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